Monday, June 9, 2008

Flashes of Shame

There must be something in the moon lately. I am being plagued.

You know that party question . . . What was your most embarrassing moment? . . . Well, I never had an answer to that. I don't have one great big one that, years later, makes for a funny story. I have millions of tiny little ones. Small moments that when put together -- like lately -- become this crippling wave of horror, self hatred, and dread. Oh God, I think to myself. What have I done!

It's been bowling me over.

Why, oh why, do I need to wake up to these vivid old memories?

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